Auto Incorrect
by AristaHolmes
Summary: Sherlock knows where the keys on his phone are, and he doesn't need to proof read his texts which leads to some interesting messages for John Watson. Can be seen as Slash. Inspired by "Waiters are Traitors" Iphone crack fic "Texts From Last Night".
1. Chapter 1

Fic inspired by "Waiters are Traitors" Iphone crack fic "Texts From Last Night".

Sherlock knows where the keys on his phone are, and he doesn't need to proof read his texts which leads to some interesting messages for John Watson. Slash.

All of the mishaps with AutoCorrect were seen on damnyouautocorrect-dot-com.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock. If I owned Sherlock, and by default Benedict Cumberbatch, I would not be in my bedroom writing fan fiction. I would be in my bedroom doing other, more interesting things.

Love & Hugs; Ari

**Auto Incorrect**

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:38 PM**

John, we need unwanted butter.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.00 PM**

Unwanted?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.01 PM**

Sorry *Unwanted

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
****JOHN WATSON**

**6.01 PM**

What?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.02 PM**

Shot. Unsalted.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.03 PM**

Shot?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.03 PM**

Damn phone! Shit shit shit!

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**10.04 AM**

John. Are you pussy?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**10.06 AM**

You what?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**10.07 AM**

*Busy! Bloody Phone...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**10.20 AM**

I'm at work, of course I'm busy... although, considering the alternative... I'm on my way home.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.12 PM**

It's in the grave. Go and have a look for me. If I'm right, which I am, it'll be open.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.15 PM**

Umm … Who's grave Sherlock, and please tell me there's not going to be a body in it...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.16 PM**

*Garage. David Pearson's, And yes, there probably will be. I'm sick of this phone.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**3.00 PM**

What sizes did you want again?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**3.01 PM**

Two snails and one legend.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**3.01 PM**

Oh for...

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.52 AM**

John, come to Barts Lab when you wake up, I need head.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.59 AM**

This better be something your phone auto-corrected...

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.06 PM**

Is the meatloaf still in the fridge for dinner?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.08 PM**

No. Make that porn and broccoli stir fry.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.09 PM**

It's a good thing I know you mean pork. Christ I'm glad no one else reads these texts.

Fucking IPhone.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.42 PM**

Just got into a fight with Anderson. Need stitches, meet me at Scotland Yard, on way now.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.45 PM**

On my way, what happened?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.45 PM**

He was being ridiculous, I needed a penis and he wouldn't let me borrow one.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.45 PM**

What?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.50 PM**

I'm going to take this ridiculous phone to pieces. I meant Pen.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.54 PM**

What do you want for dinner?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5.55 PM**

How about anal me before hand and cough in Tesco's

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.01 PM**

No. Sorry. This has to be your phone, but I simply can't decode it. In fact, I think I'm mentally scarred.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.02 PM**

What? Uh … Was supposed to be "call" and "collect"

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.26 AM**

Want your cock. Lestrade said it would be polite to ask first.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.28 AM**

Sherlock, I thought you said you were married to your work?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.29 AM**

I'm open to the idea of a divorce, but I'm also thirsty and the can of "COKE" in the fridge seems appealing.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.31 AM**

Bloody Iphone. I'm putting it in the trash when I get home!

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
****SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.00 AM**

John, I need you to lick me in my room. Now.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.02 AM**

Lock, Sherlock?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.02 AM**

Oh, yes.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.05 AM**

Sorry.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**7.47 PM**

Anderson's been suspended for two weeks.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.48 PM**

What for?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**7.50 PM**

Because I actually filed the appropriate complaints for his on-scene behaviour towards a professional consultant who was called in by his superior office.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.51 PM**

I lobe...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.51 PM**

*live

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.52 PM**

*lone... Fyck.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.54 PM**

...Just come home, and I'll show you.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.34 PM**

John. I'm bored

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.35 PM**

Shame. What do you want me to do about it?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.36 PM**

Get Lestrade to give me anal.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.37 PM**

No, Sherlock

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1.39 PM**

A CALL damn it! I know you knew what the phone meant!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.40 PM**

More fun when I don't.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**3.33 AM**

John I need you.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**3.34 AM**

I'm vomiting

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**3.35 AM**

Don't bother then

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**3.40 AM**

Why did Mycroft buy me one of these useless phone's again? On my way.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.00 PM**

I know you're working a case, but will you be available for anal tonight? I'll be home in about an hour.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.02 PM**

Holy Shit! I wrote the words "a call"

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.02 PM**

Not anal

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.03 PM**

Omfg. I swear I wrote the words "a call"

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.05 PM**

Are you available for "a call" tonight?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.10 PM**

Yes

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.12 PM**

Um...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.13 PM**

Yes.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** The smuttier sequal. :D All down to popular demand. I once again have no _plans_ to continue this, however I'll keep the idea of more in my head for when I need to write something light. I have to admit though, those "txt message from" bits, and getting the times right, takes forever lol! it's the worst bit :p I hope everyone enjoys, and I hope you've had a happy new year.

Once again ALL these typo's were found on _damnyouautocorrect-dot-com_.

Ari xx

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.42 PM**

What do you want for dinner?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.43 PM**

Anything

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.45 PM**

Chinese?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.46 PM**

Sure

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.00 PM**

So what do you want?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:01 PM**

It doesn't matter

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.03 PM**

Egg fried rice?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:03 PM**

No

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.05 PM**

Sweet and sour chicken balls?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:05 PM**

No

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.08 PM**

Lo mien?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:08 PM**

No

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.10 PM**

Chow mien? Give me something to work with, Sherlock!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:12 PM**

Crispy dick

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.12 PM**

Not sure the local does that one lol

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:13 PM**

Oh shut up John.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.30 PM**

Don't make plans, I'm cooking tonight. Take the baby out of the freezer and defrost it for me please Sherlock?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:38 PM**

I'm clearly having a very bad influence on you John, even I'm not partial to cannibalism

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.40 PM**

Bacon, Sherlock... you will tell me when I can get rid of this phone right? You're not just leaving this for laughs are you?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:42 PM**

Of course not John. The bacon's in the fridge.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1:38 PM**

I need milk

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.45 PM**

Get it yourself; I'm at the doctor's convention in Essex

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1:49 PM**

Hmm, Mrs Hudson's getting it. What's the hotel like?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.52 PM**

Has a bunch of dead people so it should be pretty quiet.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**1:53 PM**

Really? Sounds intriguing

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**1.56 PM**

Deaf, Sherlock, don't waste your time coming down here!

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.00 PM**

Sherlock, where are you? I thought you were going to tidy this living room?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6:01 PM**

I may have prostituted for too many hours last night, and been sleeping in your room all day...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.04 PM**

Umm... Should I be worried...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6:04 PM**

¬.¬ Procrastinated

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.06 PM**

When did you start using emoticons?

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11:10 AM**

Bring home a bottle of cyanide

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11:18 AM**

Sherlock, I can't get Cyanide for you

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11:19 AM**

Champagne, John, I've already located the correct poison, I'm onto forms of administration now

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.26 PM**

When I get in, I'm going to need a fuck

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.27 PM**

I'm sure I can accommodate you

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.32 PM**

*hug

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.33 PM**

I can do that too

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
LESTRADE**

**08:47 PM 08/01/2011**

John, lemme know if Sherlock comes up with anything?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.26 AM 09/01/2011**

Yes, if Sherlock thinks of anything I'll let you know, just give me some warning before the drugs bust to hide my gun? Sorry about the delay in replying, Greg, I fell asleep yesterday and by the time I woke it was too late to text you back. Couldn't get back to sleep till 6am, so I waited till now... At least I got some rear at last though

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
LESTRADE**

**11.34 AM**

Thanks John, and I will... btw, TMI?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.42 AM**

REST! I honestly don't know why anyone buys these phones! I'd throw it, but it was a gift...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.50 AM**

You're laughing and passing these texts round the office aren't you...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
LESTRADE**

**12.04 PM**

Really John, would I do that to you?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.06 PM**

You don't want me to answer that. Behave or I'll sic Sherlock on you

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.00 PM**

What time are you due back from the lab, Sherlock?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.03 PM**

Why?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.05 PM**

I want to cook dinner, and I need to know what time to start

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.08 PM**

Not sure, will be heterosexual for a while though

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.10 PM**

... I'm sorry, what?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.11 PM**

Here for a while ...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.11 PM**

Right.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:38 PM**

Where did you go?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.39 PM**

I'm going home

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:40 PM**

I hadn't finished with the body

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.41 PM**

I had

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:43 PM**

Where are you? The cab can pick you up

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.44 PM**

Don't bother.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:48 PM**

You're not still angry...?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.50 PM**

Nope

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:53 PM**

Yes you are. You can't honestly be stubborn enough to wank all the way home.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:54 PM**

John?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:55 PM**

John, stop laughing!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:58 PM**

I'll meet you back at Baker Street

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.22 AM**

Molested for Breakfast?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**7.32 AM**

Request or Offer, Sherlock?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**7.34 AM**

Request for omelettes, offer of molestation of course

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.18 PM**

Can you meet me at Barts when you're finished at the surgery?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.20 PM**

I'm moist

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**4.22 PM**

Interesting fact Doctor, not something I would have deduced from my request

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**4.28 PM**

*Most likely able

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**11.56 AM**

Tea

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**11.59 AM**

Bad day?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.00 PM**

Not really, you busy?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.02 PM**

No, lunch break, what's up?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.05 PM**

Nothing, just bored, just leaving my life

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.05 PM**

Leaving? What? Sherlock!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.07 PM**

Living, relax John.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.07 PM**

Gods! Don't bloody do that to me!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.08 PM**

Blame the phone. Tea?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.09 PM**

I'm at work, on my lunch break.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.09 PM**

Urgh, boring.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.32 PM**

Lestrade told me the case is closed, you want breakfast in the morning?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:34 PM**

Certainly, I'll fuck you up after my shower

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.35 PM**

Not the sort of breakfast I had in mind, but I won't argue

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:35 PM**

I meant wake

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.39 PM**

Well, that'll definitely wake me!

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6:38 PM**

Harry, John asked me to text and find out if you still have your mothers old vagina he could borrow

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
HARRY WATSON**

**6.46 PM**

OMG, ur such a sic fuck Holmes!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.55 PM**

China! Harry, he meant China, it's the IPhone auto correct...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
HARRY WATSON**

**7.00 PM**

Ur taste in dates ain't improved John, fuck sake!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**7.12 PM**

Do you have the china set or not, Harry

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
HARRY WATSON**

**7.16 PM**

'Course, cum and pik it up 2morrow

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:38 PM**

Sleeping on your crotch in your room tonight, experiment

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**5.40 PM**

Sherlock, I'm used to your experiments, but this one really should have been requested rather than insisted

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:45 PM**

*couch, not crotch... although, it's an interesting idea for another night... see John? I told you that, logically, the phone's auto correct had to be useful for something.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.00 PM**

You awake?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.02 PM**

Of course, can't sleep?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.05 PM**

No, Harry's in the bathroom recovering from a hangover

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.06 PM**

It's the middle of the night; don't hangovers usually occur the following morning?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.09 PM**

Yes, unless the affected party got drunk at lunchtime

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.11 PM**

Ah. You know what you need?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.12 PM**

My gun?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.14 PM**

A hot cock before bed

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.15 PM**

Well, if you're offering, the taxi ride would only be 45 minutes max

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.17 PM**

If I turned up on your sister's doorstep, you'd never forgive me. Try hot coco as a half baked substitute, and I'll make it up to you tomorrow ;)

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**9.18 PM**

These emoticons are starting to worry me Sherlock

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**9.20 PM**

Sweet Dreams, John

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**5:38 PM**

I give horrible head John, what do you recommend?

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.00 PM**

I have to disagree Sherlock, but if you're convinced, I'd say practice makes perfect.

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.01 PM**

*Have a horrible *Headache!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.12 PM**

Paracetamol and water then

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
LESTRADE**

**5.59 PM**

Sherlock, where are you? I've got a case for you

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**6.00 PM**

Went for a wank on the beach with John, on our way now

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
LESTRADE**

**6.03 PM**

Well don't let me interrupt

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**6.09 PM**

He's not dignifying that with a response... so he's having me do it instead; walk.

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.19 PM**

I need you to meet me at Barts, I think I've worked out what toxin was used to kill Mrs Potts

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.22 PM**

Can't, Sherlock, I told you last week I'm visiting my hostages

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**12.23 PM**

Really John, you shouldn't tell me this in a text, the police might find it

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**12.28 PM**

My grandparents. How long do I have to keep this phone before throwing it away won't offend Mycroft?

* * *

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**8.02 PM**

You blow me, Sherlock!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**8.03 PM**

It wasn't in my schedule, but I'm sure I can find room...

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
JOHN WATSON**

**8.07 PM**

I meant, 'you owe me'! That grave was disgusting!

**TXT MESSAGE FROM:  
SHERLOCK HOLMES**

**8.09 PM**

Hmm... Well, I'm sure if we combine the two messages I could come up with something to appease you... Make it home in the next twenty minutes and I'll see what I can do.


End file.
